My Unconventional Valentine

Late Sunday afternoon, I ventured out to Target on an emergency milk run for Emma who cannot survive more than one hour without her organic milk. Clearly, I didn't know what I was getting into until it was too late.

Freakin' madhouse. Seriously.

The Valentine aisle was crawling with last-minute shoppers, mostly men, trying to find gifts for their women because oh shit, V-Day is on Tuesday, and I totally forgot to plan for it, and she is going to KILL me if I don't have something for her that proves how much I love her on this Hallmark-infused holiday all about love and romance...(Dude! Seriously, a box of chocolates better not define your love for a woman.)

The shelves were in shambles and so barren you would think Black Friday was in February. I felt sorry for these men, and I really wanted to help them. I mean, there's nothing worse than watching a panic-stricken man in desperate pursuit of a gift he really doesn't want to buy but feels obligated to do so because of some lame holiday tradition.

A friend made these for V-Day. Now, that's a creative spin
on the old card exchange, huh?

And, don't misunderstand what may seem a little chauvinistic, the women were just as guilty. They were mostly crowding the card aisles, of course, which I suppose is much more intimate than a $5 box of Circo chocolates. Still...there is a word called creativity. We all have a bit of it inside, and I would imagine it would not take too much effort to actually use some of it every now and then (and not just on a holiday) to add a little pizazz to the same old predictable routine we call life. (And, I sincerely hope those women planned to at least write something personal in those cards rather than let Hallmark do the talking for them.)

Yes. Yes. Before I get tons of hater mail. I am a bit of a Valentine Grinch. I admit it. I own it. But allow me a chance to clarify my Grinchiness.

I actually L.O.V.E all holidays, even Valentine's. Any opportunity to be creative and celebrate life and laugh and spoil my kids is always an anticipated date in our house, and seriously, I am always looking for a reason to throw a party. Holla!


We've been eagerly anticipating V-Day since early January. The kids picked out their V-Day cards a month ago. I'm throwing our fam a surprise red and pink party tonight, and I always fill their little mailboxes with special treats and love notes. I mean, really, holidays are sooooo much more entertaining when you have kids. They get stoked about every little thing you do, and it's totally contagious.

Another V-Day-inspired gift. LUV!

It's not all about the kid stuff though. Valentine's is the perfect opportunity to acknowledge all those positive things in your life you love. It's supposed to be fun and carefree and smiley and all that jazzy jazz. It's a day of appreciation for everything pink and red and awesome. It's a day to post on Facebook how much you love the world and all the people in it! It's a day to tell your friends they rock, just for the fun of it. It's a day to wear cupid wings, break out the cloth diaper and carry a ridunkulous flute because you have a legitimate excuse to look like an idiot. It's a holiday, after all. It's expected.

The point is Valentine's has a special and significant place in our lives. However, I don't think it should be a day of expected romance for couples. Every day should carry an expectation for romance and love, right? You see, I never really celebrated V-Day until I had kids. In fact, I am adamantly opposed to a holiday designed to encourage romance one day out of 365 days each year. To me, that statistic is just. plain. depressing.

I am a tried and true Sagittarius, after all, and we are a particular breed of people. I crave passion and adventure and danger. I have to mix things up in my life every now and then otherwise I start to get stir crazy. I like to try new things, experience everything I can, push myself to the limit and take risks. We Sags tend to follow a "live life to the fullest" mantra that keeps us (and all the people around us) forever on our toes. And, we are extremely stubborn, so don't bother telling me it's time to settle down and embrace the idea of predictability. Not happening.

That said, I must mention that Rick is also a Sagittarius. As fate would have it, our December birthdays are exactly seven days a part...my lucky number. What that means is we have the challenging but not impossible task of surprising each other.

Valentine's has taken on a new meaning for me. Instead of using it as a day to profess my undying love for Rick (I should be doing that every day, right?), I prefer to use it as a resolution day, a day much like New Year's where I sit down and think about what I can do to improve myself. In this case, though, I am looking to improve our relationship.

So, in honor of Valentine's Day this year, I stayed away from the candy aisle and took to my Kindle and the Internet to find something with a little more sizzle than a box of chocolates and put together a whole new set of tricks to mix up our love life a bit. I'm thinking Rick will appreciate this more than dinner or lingerie or chocolates or a card. Of course, he'll be getting ALL of those things but not all on Valentine's Day and not in their traditional sense. You see, the idea is to enhance our relationship every day and to incorporate new things into our sexual relationship, so that all these years and kids later we are still surprising and exciting each other. It's like a first date all over again...it keeps things fresh and new without sacrificing the intimacy we've built over the years as a couple.

And, I know what you're thinking...what exactly did I add to my bag o' tricks? Well, THAT is a secret, but I will drop a few hints...ice, champagne, lace, a gigantic card with a game spinner inside (that was my special project) and well, I'll leave the rest to the imagination...

To some of you, this may just seem weird, but Rick and I have had a rule since we started dating. He does not buy me gifts on holidays. I don't get birthday presents; there is never anything under the Christmas tree for me; and forget about V-Day gifts. Rick surprises me with gifts on whenever days. He's shown up with sapphire earrings after a long Sunday run...just because I like the color blue. He's left diamond earrings on my nightstand because he thought the ones I had were too small. He's stayed up late the night before a big race downloading my fave music, making the perfect race playlist to surprise me at the starting gate. He's had a Kindle delivered because I complained one day about never getting to the library.

The point is I like our nontraditional rules. Rick will never be one of those guys frantically looking for a last-minute gift for some random holiday; instead every gift he gives me is absolutely perfect. They are gifts he was inspired to give simply because.

That is why we don't celebrate V-Day in the traditional-romantic-lovey-couple sense. In our house, we make every day a potential Valentine's Day.

And, I think every woman deserves a little spoiling throughout the year and not just on Valentine's, don't you? Just as every couple deserves a chance to shake up their routines with a little infusion of wild, crazy, sexy fun.

You know...just because.

Soooooo, on that happy note...Happy 365 Valentine's Days, my friends!
xoxoxoxoxoxo

(FOOTNOTE: I would like to point out that there are plenty of men out there who spoil their women throughout the year AND on Valentine's Day, and they do an exceptional job of it. With purpose and passion, that is. To them, V-Day is just another excuse to show their woman how special she is, and that's just plain coolness.)