Hey There Delilah...Here's to You

I don't know much about Meg Cabot's past other than she has published a butt-load of books, mostly for the tweenie boppers, and got rich and famous when Disney took her Princess Diaries series to the big screen. Now, the self-proclaimed high school "freak" and New York Times bestselling author walks around in a pageant crown.

Oi...(Insert cringe here.)

I've seen several pictures of Meg in her famous crown. In fact, I've seen TONS of pictures of Meg, and let me tell you, she is very petite in every single one. Look, normally I could care less about another woman's size. However, I had to get a look at her after reading her novel, Size 14 is Not Fat Either. I picked it up at the used bookstore because I was intrigued by the title and thought it would be the type of self-esteem boosting novel that would empower the average-sized woman to be confident in her own skin.

Wrong.

One chapter in, and I knew a lifelong skinny girl had written that book! Hellooooo, "fat" girl stereotypes abound!!!! I have to say, I doubt Meg was ever anything more than slightly pudgy in her entire life and that was probably a phase she went through during the 1980s when the cherubic round face was in. I'm not trying to rag on Meg and her inability to write from a size 12 heroine's perspective; I'm just pointing out how her characterization of her heroine Heather Wells sounds like it was written by a thin girl trying to understand the complex feelings of a woman who has spent most of her life struggling with her weight. Heather Wells is not authentic because Meg doesn't know what it's like to be her or any other woman who is not a size 2 or 4.

Red Flag #1: Meg never gives a physical description of her heroine Heather Wells, except to say she's a borderline size 14 and can't fit into her jeans. It's as if the only description we need is her double-digit clothing size. Can't girls with some meat on their bones be beautiful, Meg? Without any hesitation, I can name ten women I know who are drop-dead gorgeous, and all of them fit into a size 8 or above.

Red Flag #2: Heather Wells comes off as an unhappy, unsuccessful woman who finds her cream cheese and bacon bagel the highlight of her otherwise uneventful day. This chick spent the entire novel obsessing about food---eating it, wanting it and even smelling it. One minute, she's solving a crime involving a decapitated cheerleader, then suddenly, out of freakin' nowhere, she starts talking about food and mouth orgasms. What?!?!

Red Flag #3: Heather Wells never feels sexy or confident, and she definitely thinks she's fat. Such a bummer to have a heroine unhappy with herself and just settling from day to day. That's real motivational, Meg. Thanks.

Here's the thing. I don't think a size 12 or 14 is fat. Every woman looks different at different sizes. You could be perfectly healthy, happy and fit at a size 12. There's so much to consider...height, muscle mass, body type, genetics, CONFIDENCE...blah, blah, blah...the point is, size is just a number, baby! Believe it or not, women are meant to be a little meaty!

Clearly, Mrs. Cabot doesn't understand that or that ladies who are not blessed with size 2 bodies do not spend the entire day obsessing about food. Get a life, lady!

I can't even begin to describe to you how frustrated I was when I finished this novel and then saw the title of her third installment in the series...Big Boned.

Nice.

After that debacle, I was skeptical about my next read, The Perfectly True Tales of a Perfect Size 12 by Robin Gold. Expecting another hot mess of inaccurate stereotypes and underdeveloped heroines with no real pizazz, I was shocked to meet Delilah White, a striking, successful, witty, intelligent and confident size 12 heroine. Whoop! Whoop! Hallelujah!

This chick has spirit! She was totally confident in herself and truly loved her life and how her body looked. She enjoyed food but was not obsessed with it. She was active and adventurous yet feminine and sexy. She wore a bikini without apology or grimace and even skinny dipped with a hot, abtastic man.

You see, I just love that Robin Gold chose not to focus on Delilah's size and instead focused on how a woman who is not society's ideal is just as successful, desirable and perfect.

I was so excited, in fact, I broke out my trusty highlighter and marked some of my favorite awe-inspiring lines from the novel:

"Resembling a Botticelli beauty with voluptuous curves, Delilah White likes herself just the way she is: a perfect size 12." 

"Delilah looks at him deadpan. 'Alfred, I've got some booty goin' on. It's okay, I'm fine with it. The way I see it, a woman trying to hide her butt with a sweater is the same thing as a man trying to hide his bald spot with a toupee: neither one is fooling anybody. We all know what's hiding underneath!' She smiles affectionately, removing the sweater."

"I'm talking about being sick of being forced to abandon ideas I love and am passionate about---ideas that might not be cookie-cutter mainstream but are good and reflect who I am...Why should I struggle to fit a confined, suffocating mold that no longer suits me...I'm talking about wanting more."

Perhaps Meg Cabot should take a lesson from Robin Gold (who, by the way, is a perfect size 10ish and not a member of the super-exclusive New York Times bestsellers book club). Delilah White put Heather Wells to shame, and seriously, it would be nice to see more average-sized female heroines who actually make women feel positive and empowered about who they are just the way they are.

So, Mrs. Cabot, do you think you can manage to give Heather Wells a break in your next book? Or, do I have to take matters into my own hands and break into your New York City apartment, sidestep your one-eyed cat, kidnap your computer and breathe some life into Heather the Average Heroine?

Just sayin'.